Cocktail Talk: Chicago Confidential
Chicago Confidential: The Low Down on the Big Town is a 1950 tell-all by reporters (and authors of Washington and New York confidentials) Jack Lair and Lee Mortimer, which is both “uncensored” and “shocking.” And reading it, I’m sorta shocked. The indie-rock haven that I know and love used to be a combination of Sodom, Gomorrah, and a Rambo movie, with more sex, death, grifts, grafts, and gambling than this poor boy can understand. Maybe the authors toned it up just a snitch? And maybe Chicago just used to be more rootin’ and tootin’. Maybe I just lived in the wrong neighborhood? Maybe if I would have crick’d my neck out longer (ala PhiSmi) I would have seen more? But wait, wait! This isn’t about Chicago and its malcontents, this is a quick paean to my favorite Chicago bartender and longtime close pal, Joel Meister. See, Mr. Joel (as many know) lives in rowdy Chicago, and tends bar, and rules, damnit, rules. Which is why I want to dedicate this quote to him, completely un-confidentially.
Burlesque bars are few on the near North Side beyond the mile of Clark Street dumps. There is only one open stripper on Rush Street, the Spa. Most establishments are restaurants or cocktail lounges with only a singing pianist, male or female, for entertainment, plus the inevitable B girl. The initiates hang around to drink, talk, meet old friends or pick up new ones. But the bartenders will get you anything you want–tell you where there is a crap game, contact call girls, or take a bet on the horses. Throughout Chicago, bartenders function to a much wider extent than they do in any other known place. It is the fashion to advertise their names in connection with saloons and restaurants, as though they are stars. And some of them are, with individual followings because of their wide usefulness. Their local appellation is “the mixo,” and they are heavily tipped.
–Jack Lair and Lee Mortimer, Chicago Confidential
PS: Don’t forget, when in Chicago and having Joel pour you or shake you or strain you one: “they are heavily tipped.”
leslie said:
I like that the stripper on Rush Street is called the Spa. Awesome!
Nicole Sholly said:
Joel Meister IS a star. I wonder why we aren’t in Chicago at this very moment, tipping him heavily?
Joel Meister said:
thanks for the exaggeratedly kind words, nicole darlin’. sadly, even if you were in chicago right now, it’s not likely that you would find yourself in the position of being able to indulge in the activity you wrote of as i am rarely in a position (behind the bar, specifically) to be on the receiving end of same. i do appreciate the sentiment! give jon a kiss for me and vice-versa.
admin said:
It would be awesome if we were all in the same spot, tipping someone who was serving us all rounds of drinks (in this scenario, Joel’s sitting with us, cause really, he shouldn’t have to work through the fun). Dang it, why isn’t this happening right now. Of course, we’ll have to drag Leslie away from the Spa. But drinks might just do it.
phismi said:
I need to be wearing a slightly tattered fedora right now. And a rumpled suit that I slept in but you can’t tell because the light is low.
Joel Meister said:
i like the look you’re talking about sporting, phismi. i don’t know you, but i’m sure we’d get along just fine. people get into the violet hour all the time that ain’t an eighth as dapper as that ensemble would be. i’m sure they’d appreciate the fact that you probably wouldn’t order a grey goose and cranberry as well, not that they have either, but at least they wouldn’t have to go through the spiel. oh, wait, that would have to be one of the perks. never mind.
