Champale Accessories: Because You Deserve It

After my below post about the Champagne of malt liquors, Champale, pal Philip (who writes a blog about the cutest girl in the world) was kind enough to send me a few choice Champale items he found, items which are now bound to be sitting atop yr holiday gift wish list. Because I know you love Champale. Admit it. You love it in the best way possible, which is by wearing this lovely Champale badge (I know I’ll be wearing one):

I especially like the smell lines coming off. And where better to wear your Champale-badged attire, then in your home bar, under your Champale light (I almost feel like I’m announcing a showcase showdown here):

Though really, that light is too modern for me. Give me the class of the oldies, the aged Champale, or at least this aged Champale light:

Now that’s classy. You know what’s best of all? You can buy both lights, and then have a whole Champale room, and, for that matter, buy a whole bunch of Champale badges and make a complete Champale outfit, and then send a picture of you in it, standing under your lights, to me, and I will post it here. Promise.

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Champale: Because You Can Afford It

Produced since 1939 (originally in New Jersey), Champale is a malt liquor. I’ve got not a stitch of a problem with that (and heck, the way today’s going, I’d take two bottles right now and drain them at a gulp and like it. Then burp a lot). But the whole “poor person’s Champagne” seems like a poor advertising scheme (really, can you talk down to your audience more?), especially when you have a talking bottle and a talking coupe-style Champagne glass (which was, as an aside, supposedly the style of glass created by taking impressions of Marie Antoinette’s breasts. Though, sadly, this may not be really true, it’s true to me). That pathetic fallacy-ing just freaks me out a touch, cause I see where this is going: the Champale is either going to tip the glass of Champagne over, or the Champagne is going to get all snotty and start speaking French. Nobody wins in this set-up.

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