May 18, 2021
A rarity amongst the Cocktail Talk posts here on the old Spiked Punch, the below quote is from a non-fiction book, The Big Con. But what a book! The tome about the, well, the big cons that took place mostly in the early-ish part of last century (and on deeper into the last century, before being replaced by, oh internet scams), cons immortalized in movies and song and show. Written by a professor who earned the trust of tons of con men and underworld folk, David Maurer, the book breaks down the three types of big cons, how cons operated, where they did, the lives of con men, all that, utilizing lots of stories and the argot or lingo con artists used amongst themselves to throw the marks and squares off (don’t worry, there’s a handy mini-dictionary at the back). So, a scholarly work, but filled with stories and fun (as long as you weren’t getting taken). The below is taken from one story, which describes how one of the cons, The Pay-Off, might go off.
“Here, gentlemen, is a very good thing,” says Mr. Lamster. “You must excuse yourself for half an hour. Here are drinks and cigars. Help yourselves. Just make yourselves comfortable and I’ll be right back.”
“Put something on it for us,” call Ryan, half in jest.
Mr. Ryan and Mr. Fink sample the liquor and cigars. There is Seltzer water and ice. They sit back and speculate upon this peculiar person they have just met. “He may be just a nut,” observes Mr. Fink,” but at least it isn’t costing us anything. And this is good whiskey.”
— David Maurer, The Big Con
May 4, 2021
For our last (for now . . .) Cocktail Talk from the sixth collection of stories written by Day Keene and published way back when, published in the detective pulp magazines which once ruled newsstands, said collection called Homicide House, we’re dropping in on a case with one of the standby Keene characters, private detective Tom Doyle (who also appeared in one novel, as well as other stories). In typical Keene/Doyle fashion, this story has plot aplenty, moves quick like a stolen car, gives some time to Doyle wife and kids (at least off-stage), and puts him in quite a pickle: shot at, knocked out, blamed for murder, all of it. And slugging back a fair bit of booze, too! Be sure to catch all the Day Keene Cocktail Talks by the way, or I might stick detective Doyle on you!
His examination concluded, he grinned, “Too bad. But outside of that mark on your temple and banging your puss on the walk, you seem to be okay. Durable Doyle, eh, Tom?”
“I’m wearing thin, Mike,” I admitted.
I picked my gun off the walk and was dropping it into my pocket when Max pushed through the crowd making like a St. Bernard with a quart of rye.” You took your sweet time,” I reproved him. “Also, a drink.”
— Day Keene, “Three Queens of the Mayhem”
April 27, 2021
Our third Day Keene Cocktail Talk (!) from the murderously-named Homicide House (!) collection of stories he originally published in the pulp mags (!) takes us into a sort-of bad-man-redemption-or-not kind of story, where you can’t help but try to guess what the last turn will be, and probably fail in the guessing – which is a fun kind of a story! The below quote isn’t really a traditional Cocktail Talk one, as it doesn’t mention a specific booze type or drink or drink type. But it does have one of my favorite words for drunk/tipsy in it, so I have to highlight it (and speaking of highlighting things, don’t miss the other Homicide House Cocktail Talks, which so far include “My Little Gypsy Cheat-heart” and “If A Body Meet A Body“).
I had been positively identified by three barman along the highway as the driver of the car. The last barman had refused to serve me. According to the paper he has told investigating officers, “I sez to the guy, look, chum. You’re stinko right now. One more drink under your belt and you’ll drive that high-power job of yours right into the drink. And it would seem he did.”
–Day Keene, “She Shall Make Murder”
April 20, 2021
Another (don’t miss the “My Little Gypsy Cheat-heart” Cocktail Talk) from the sixth Day Keene in the Detective Pulps collection called, strikingly enough, Homicide House, this story, much like the earlier-mentioned yarn, I believe was eventually the basis, or partially at least, for a Day Keene novel, this time Home is the Sailor (which you can see more on if you check out all the Day Keene Cocktail Talks). This story has all the Day Keene traits: the action jumps right in, the narrator’s in a mess of trouble, there’s a murder or more, double-dealing, and boozing and carousing. And the below quote, which uses “boiled” in a way we should bring back.
“I don’t think I did kill her,” Stanton told him wearily. “No matter how drunk a man was he’d remember a thing like that.”
Waddy was dubious. “I don’t know about that. You were plenty boiled when she walked you out of here.”
“Had he been drinking all evening?” Marks asked.
“No,” the barman admitted. “As far as I know, he only had two old fashioneds. But he must have been drinking before, because the second one hit him hard. Corliss had one hell of a time getting him into the car.”
— Day Keene, “If a Body Meet a Body”
April 13, 2021
I recently (finally!) picked up the sixth collection of Day Keene stories from the glory days of pulp magazines, a collection called Homicide House and Other Stories. Like past volumes, it’s a pulp-y gem of fast-paced, twists-and-turns, tough men and tougher women stories, many following the Keene trope of “how are they ever going to get out this predicament” style, but here – I think for the first time – we see a couple of stories that were later fleshed (hahaha) out into novels, perhaps when the mystery/pulp/action/detective realm took a turn from magazines into easily-tote-able paperbacks. One of those is the story “My Little Gypsy Cheat-heart,” which I’ve read and loved in a longer version, My Flesh is Sweet (read the My Flesh is Sweet Cocktail Talk why dontcha – actually, don’t miss all the Day Keene Cocktail Talks). In the latter, there’s a little more character development, a little more plot, a little more this and that, but that doesn’t mean the former wasn’t fun to read – it was! And neat to see how Mr. Keene built on it, as if the story was still in his mind after his first take. The story version of the story, if that makes sense, led me to wanting to highlight the below quote, too, which is an apt one as the story (and the novel) start with a murder in Mexico, before moving stateside for the murderous finale. It also has a lovely description of how one might feel the morning after too many.
The phone bell was loud and insistent. I sat up mouthing the cotton the tequila I’d put away had seeded and looked at my watch. It was five minutes to two.
“Ad Connors speaking,” I said into the phone.
“Come over to the Flamingo,” Elena begged. “Please. As fast as you can get here, Ad.”
— Day Keene, “My Little Gypsy Cheat-heart”
April 6, 2021
There is nothing quite like discovering a new book you enjoy, and when you add that it’s written by an author you haven’t yet read? Well, you get to feel a bit what the great explorers and their crews felt right before they yelled “land, ho!” approaching a new piece of earth. Let’s hope they treated the inhabitants as well as you treat said new book and author! I recently had this experience with a book called The Widows of Malabar Hill, written by Sujata Massey. Taking place in Bombay in 1921 (and, it turns out, Bombay and other spots in India in 1916), it features the city’s only female lawyer in that year, Perveen Mistry. The mystery around said widows, and a murder, and the history surrounding them and our lawyer is all well laid out, with chapters that take place in different times alternating in a way that keep character history and the main story both moving while drawing you in. All good, right? But what makes the book even better is its incredibly evocative descriptiveness of the time, the culture, the food, the streets, the smells, the religions, the laws and legal processes, the colors, the sounds, which brings a place and place in time I didn’t know much about to bubbling life. Not to mention it ends with a drink (see quote below)! I can’t wait to read more by Sujata Massey – and I suggest you do the same.
Smiling at him, she said, “I’ve just a few questions. I’ve heard this magnificent hotel was founded to allow equal hospitality to Indians and foreigners. Is that really true?
He nodded. “It most certainly is.”
“To allow male guest alcohol – but not the female guests – runs against the idea of equal hospitality, doesn’t it?
“Well, I – you don’t say, but –” He had no further words.
Five minutes later, Perveen had a frosty gin-lime in front of her, and Alice had her whiskey-soda.”
— Sujata Massey, The Widows of Malabar Hill
March 30, 2021
It’s been just over two years (what a two years though!) since I last posted my only-other-so-far Cocktail Talk from Cyril Hare, the early-to-mid-last-century English writer and judge – be sure to read that When the Wind Blows Cocktail Talk to discover his real name! – who was known for his subtle humor, classic stylings, and draw-you-in-mysteries. I just picked up, as I slowly find more and more of his work, Untimely Death, which starts on a vacation to Exmoor, and picks up his sometimes-used Inspector Mallett (retired here) along the way. There evocative landscape and character description, a murder (‘natch) that isn’t solved until the last chapter, twists, turns, and memorable characters. You’ll like it! Especially if you like sherry (and surely you must), as it’s a book that should be sherry accompanied – both when reading the below quote, and the rest of the book.
“I’ve been having a chat with the Detective Inspector,” he said. “Luckily we’re on fairly good terms.” He filled three glasses with sherry and handed them round. “Inquest’s on Thursday, it seems. At Polton. Your very good healths, sir and madam.”
The sherry was of a quality to command Pettigrew’s respect, but for the moment his mind was on lower things.
“What else did he tell you?” he asked.
–Cyril Hare, Untimely Death
March 16, 2021
I have a tear in my eye, as while I could probably have a fair more Cocktail Talks from the Charlie Dickens collection of essays The Uncommercial Traveller, for now (but perhaps not forever), this will our last one. If you’ve missed any of the previous four, then be sure to read The Uncommercial Traveller Cocktail Talks Part 1, Part II, Part III, and Part IV, and while you’re in the reading mood, check out all the Dickens Cocktail Talks. Don’t read so much that your eyes tire, however, as you won’t want to miss the below quote. From one of the laugh-out-loud-ier pieces in the collection (and there are many funny scenes throughout, so that’s saying something), called “A Little Dinner in an Hour,” the below quote is just a small part of a regrettable dining experience Dickens has with his pal Bullfinch, when they are traveling for some business and decide to book a meal at a local spot that once was rumored to be worthy. But now leaves much to be desired! Ah, I wish I could have been there to watch it all unfold (if not to actually partake in it). A fine end to our Cocktail Talk tour through the book. Sherry, please!
‘It’s quite impossible to do it, gentlemen,’ murmured the waiter; ‘and the kitchen is so far off.’
‘Well, you don’t keep the house; it’s not your fault, we suppose. Bring some sherry.’
‘Waiter!’ from Mr. Indignation Cocker, with a new and burning sense of injury upon him.
The waiter, arrested on his way to our sherry, stopped short, and came back to see what was wrong now.
‘Will you look here? This is worse than before. Do you understand? Here’s yesterday’s sherry, one and eightpence, and here we are again two shillings. And what the devil does ninepence mean?’
This new portent utterly confounded the waiter. He wrung his napkin, and mutely appealed to the ceiling.
‘Waiter, fetch that sherry,’ says Bullfinch, in open wrath and revolt.
‘I want to know,’ persisted Mr. Indignation Cocker, ‘the meaning of ninepence. I want to know the meaning of sherry one and eightpence yesterday, and of here we are again two shillings. Send somebody.’
The distracted waiter got out of the room on pretext of sending somebody, and by that means got our wine. But the instant he appeared with our decanter, Mr. Indignation Cocker descended on him again.
‘Waiter!’
— Charles Dickens, The Uncommercial Traveller
A rarity amongst the Cocktail Talk posts here on the old Spiked Punch, the below quote is from a non-fiction book, The Big Con. But what a book! The tome about the, well, the big cons that took place mostly in the early-ish part of last century (and on deeper into the last century, before being replaced by, oh internet scams), cons immortalized in movies and song and show. Written by a professor who earned the trust of tons of con men and underworld folk, David Maurer, the book breaks down the three types of big cons, how cons operated, where they did, the lives of con men, all that, utilizing lots of stories and the argot or lingo con artists used amongst themselves to throw the marks and squares off (don’t worry, there’s a handy mini-dictionary at the back). So, a scholarly work, but filled with stories and fun (as long as you weren’t getting taken). The below is taken from one story, which describes how one of the cons, The Pay-Off, might go off.
